Housemarque has a new video game that struck me as so unique and fascinating that I was compelled to buy it.
I made the decision to buy the game without watching a ton of demos or reading up on internet reviews.
It was a no brainer. From the trailer, I could already tell that Returnal was similar to many other games. It was about a strong, smart, and capable protagonist who had to conquer the odds. That is not what compelled me to make the purchase.
The main character Selene is a woman. That in itself is an anomaly. But what makes her even more of an oddity is her age. Selene is a middle-aged woman.
Female videogame characters are typically youthful and sexy. The few who are not young are elderly women revered for their wisdom or hated for their villainy.
So a middle-aged female lead captured my attention so strongly that I just had to buy it.
I could finally see someone like myself in a game. You see, I am a 50-year-old woman who has recently found out that (surprise!) middle age is not exactly what I thought it would be.
At 50, I do not feel young. I do not feel old either. My body is not as fast as it was in my youth, even though I am in good shape.
In fact, I feel like I am at my best ever. But there is a certain invisibility that middle aged women can all identify with.
People can be rather awkward around a 50-year-old woman. Rarely do they start conversations. When they do talk to you, they ask about your children.
This adds another layer of awkwardness and invisibility for me as a childless woman.
With no children, they cannot imagine anything else to talk about.
When you find a woman in a game, she could be a companion or just there to add color to a party. She is not the star.
We can all remember how big of a shock it was for fans of Metroid to discover that the hero they had admired for so long was really a woman.
It was supposed to be a shocking plot twist. And it did shock many.
Today, gamers who want to play as women have many more opportunities than ever before. Some games even allow you to create the character you want to play.
But these female characters are almost invariably young.
To be honest, there are advantages to playing younger characters. Younger bodies are stronger and more agile. So it makes sense to have a main character in their 20s or 30s.
In Tomb Raider’s 2013 reboot, Lara Croft’s youth and experience are a huge part of what makes the story powerfully inspiring.
She was a fresh college graduate who found herself alone and injured after surviving a shipwreck.
Her inexperience meant that she had to challenge herself in ways she had never done before. She was discovering her own strength and we were there to watch her develop resilience. It was an awesome journey.
As a 50-year-old gamer, I cannot help but imagine what Lara Croft would be like two or three decades older. What challenges would she face? How would she tackle them? What allies and enemies would she have acquired along the way?
We have no way of knowing. Because the creators are not particularly interested in Lara Croft post 30.
At this point, you are probably wondering just how many gamers are wondering about the same thing I am wondering about.
I looked up the numbers, and female gamers my age are almost as many as male gamers. There is only a 2% difference in the numbers.
My point is that if we can have such a variety of middle-aged male characters, then women my age deserve representation, too.
I would love to see more female gaming characters who are my age saving the world, solving mysteries, and slaying the occasional dragon.
Speaking of dragons, I can remember when the dragons in video games looked more like ducks than dragons.
Not too long ago, Ubisoft argued that they could not increase the playable female assassins in Assassins Creed because they were difficult to animate.
We have made some progress since then, thankfully. But we still have a long way to go.
I love that Selene features on the cover and stars in the game. I feel validated by her presence.
Selene represents the best aspects of being middle aged. Young people are more ambitious but also vulnerable to people-pleasing.
Selene comes armed with life experience the way only a middle-aged woman can be.
She is sure of herself and understands who she is and what she stands for. She is guided by her own internal compass and not other people’s opinions.
She has the confidence to steal a spaceship and go on a mysterious quest.
She is decisive and confident in her ability to handle whatever comes her way. She goes after what she wants without apology. I would love to see more characters like Selene.